The Boyfriend of the Week

September 10, 2001

Dearest Readers:

There used to be an extremely funny write-up here about Bam Margera. About how totally cute he was and how amazing he was on a skateboard. And about how insanely hilarious I thought it was that I, a librarian, had a crush on him, a professional skateboarder.

Unfortunately, far, FAR too many of Bam's fans are girls who use too many exclamation points, can't spell, and are completely devoid of anything even remotely resembling intelligence (no offense). Instead of reading the write-up and thinking it was funny, like I did, that a dork like me had a crush on a skateboarder with six-pack abs, they thought I was insulting Bam and saying that librarians were hipper than boarders (see what I mean about "devoid of intelligence"?). Despite the fact that Bam himself emailed me to say he thought the write-up was hilarious, and despite the fact I added an addendum to the write-up attempting to explain the joke, I was still getting WAY too many stupid emails in my inbox that bitched about how lame I was.

And, frankly, I just don't have time for that kind of stupid crap. So, the write-up is gone. You will never get to see the write-up on Bam Margera. You will never get to read about what I thought when I first saw him on television. You will not get to see the email exchange he and I had, which I had posted at the bottom of the write-up. You will not get to ask me for his email address and be rejected. You will not get to laugh about how funny it is that a nearing-30-years-old librarian thought a 20-something-year-old skateboarder was H-O-T-T hot. You have abused the privilege and thus the privilege has been rescinded.

From now on, any email containing the words "Bam Margera" will be immediately deleted from my inbox without warning. I don't want to hear about it. I don't want to talk about it. I just want everybody to STOP EMAILING ME ABOUT BAM MARGERA.

It truly sucks when the stupid few spoil it all for the rest of us. And for a long time, I sucked it up and just rolled with the punches. But life's too short to have to wade through that kind of crap everyday. I have to deal with enough stupidity in life as it is -- I don't need to keep a page up begging for more.

The Extraordinarily Disappointed Management

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