The Boyfriend of the Week

March 29, 1999

This week's Boyfriend is really terrific. I mean, really somethin' else, you know? Heck, I'll just come right out and say it -- this man is SUPER! He's a SUPER MAN!


Get it?

Yup, Dean Cain is Superman. Literally! It's actually been awhile since I've seen him, though, since Lois & Clark only runs on cable TV now along with all the other great shows -- Due South, Quantum Leap, Quincy, etc. etc. Now, wait. . .Someone remind me. . .WHY DON'T I HAVE CABLE YET?

Oh yes, because it costs so damn much. And plus, I ought to be reading. Too bad there aren't many books about mounties out there. Or superheroes, for that matter. If Dean Cain were a book, I'd NEVER get cable! He's not only a half-way decent actor (and half-way decent is really all it takes to make it here), but he's also an incredible dreamboat! AND, you know that game "Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon"? Well, here we like to play "Six Degrees of MacGyver" and I'll have you people know, Dean Cain is only ONE degree removed! Yup, co-star Teri Hatcher used to play Penny on MacGyver and while Teri never actually KISSED Mac, she did hold his hand once or twice. And then later she touched Dean Cain. Which means Superman has MacGyver cooties, and thems my favorite cooties in the world.

Hunky germs aside, Dean does have qualities of his own to admire. First, the crooked grin. Love that. Second and third, the deep voice and the big shoulders. Fourth, the way he looks in those tights (you KNEW I was going to say that, didn't you?). I heard he's actually quite shy about wearing those tights on the set -- is always swooping up into a robe between scenes. As though those thighs need hiding! He's made of steel, for cryin' out loud!

Now, Lois & Clark was a lot of fun the first season or so, but I kind of gave up on it after awhile (the catch is never as fun to watch as the chase). But he's bound to show up in other things cuz he's so mightily cute. (Dare I say super cute? I dare. . .) You guys will have to keep your eyes open for me, since I'm notoriously the last one to know about these things. If you see Dean Cain coming, gimmie a whistle! (You know how to whistle, doncha?) I miss him! And his gigantic biceps!

MacGyver Factor Score: 93.7%. 47.6 points off for being on a bunch of 90210 episodes and SMOOCHING that yucky Shannon Doherty. More than once, even! Ick! Now THOSE are cooties I want to avoid! 41.3 points back for leaping tall buildings with a single bound. Having a superhero for a boyfriend could really come in handy sometimes, you know?

Stay tuned! Next week's Boy is no superhero, but he's French and that's close enough for me!

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