The Boyfriend of the Week


February 21, 2000

A couple of months ago, a friend of mine sent me a message telling me to check out this totally hilarious web site he'd stumbled across. It was kind of a slow day at work, so I copied and pasted the URL into my browser, figuring it'd probably be pretty stupid but possibly sort of entertaining. Where it sent me, though, was even better than "sort of" entertaining. It was the home page of Mahir!

"Who's Mahir?" you ask. My reply, "Whaddaya mean, 'who's Mahir?'! Everybody's talking about Mahir! Where've you been??" Okay, so maybe you don't follow these things. Or maybe your friends don't. Or maybe you live under a rock. In any case, it's definitely time for you to be enlightened. The Mahir story is a great one. Prepare to be thoroughly entertained.

In the beginning, there was Mahir. He had a goofy web site that contained pictures of him and said things like "I like music. I have many musicenstrumans my home I can play" and "My eyes green . . . I live alone!" The best (and now most famous) Mahir-ism, though, was "Welcome to my home page!!!!! I kiss you!!!!"

Anyway, something about this guy made him instantly lovable, and not just to me. Since the early Mahir days, over 3 million people have gone to his web site. And they have even sent him photos of themselves holding signs that say "We kiss you, too!" What is it about Mahir that makes him so adorable? Is it the clumsy English? The goofy mustache? The ridiculously un-p.c. statements ("I like sex!")? The answer is: it's everything! Mahir is a hoot, people. Just totally adorable!

The other day I was back at Mahir's site, just to check on him, and found a new thing there. There's a message from Mahir that describes the story of his web site. Apparently, he started out a lot more modestly. But someone hacked into his site, stole it, and then doctored it up (with the "I like sex" stuff). Suddenly, Mahir started getting a zillion phone calls a day (his number was on the site) (you'll notice mine is not). He was extremely surprised -- why is everybody calling ME? When he realized what happened, he was pretty mad, then he thought it was funny, then he was mad again (I'm not sure I followed the whole thing), and then he managed to locate the hacker and give him what-fer. Now Mahir runs the web site himself.

But did Mahir take down the parts about liking sex (or "fotographing" nude models)? NO! Why not? Because, he says, he DOES like sex. Or, as he says, " I like sex as every are having active sexual life."

The best part about the message from Mahir, though, is the part where he describes how much trouble all this web page stuff has been but then says, "I'm too happy that I made lots of people laugh and for a minute i could take them away from their private problems." Hey, that's MY philosophy! We're made for each other!

Now, I have read a few rumors on the web that Mahir isn't actually a real person. Like, some kid found some pictures of this funny-lookin' guy and made this whole thing up to make fun of foreigners. If that's true, which I refuse to believe, the kid wasn't too smart. Foreign English is cute, it's true (who can resist "I kiss you!"), but you can't make fun of it. Unless you speak a dozen languages flawlessly yourself. Which, if you're dumb enough to make fun of foreigners, you probably don't. All that aside, I believe Mahir is real. And therefore, he is (remember Secret Agent Jack? My wish is my command!)

So, anyway, check out the Mahir site at Go to the "story(English)" to read about the hacker (and think about the "realities of the world," which he lists at the bottom -- such a good guy he is). Then TELL me you don't think he's totally adorable. I won't believe you. You cannot resist the charm of Mahir!!

MacGyver Factor Score: 94.6%. Points off for no good reason. Just cuz. Points back because he plays the accordion. How cool is that? I wonder what a Turkish polka sounds like. . .

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