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The Boyfriend of the Week

This week's boyfriend-related confession: I was supposed to be taping Due South for my mom all this time and got really confused about the phrase "Sunday night at 2am" (does that mean Saturday night at 2am or Sunday morning at 2am?) and I've blown it and missed the first three episodes of the new season. Sorry, Mom.

This week's Boyfriend of the Week, however, is to make it up to Mom. It's the Big Q! Quincy, M.E.! And if you have cable and you aren't watching it twice a day, you can just forget ever being my pal again. Especially if you aren't taping episodes for me either. Just kidding. But really, you don't know what you're missing. One of my favorite rituals with Mom used to be getting dinner all set and then plopping down on the couch right at 6pm to watch Quincy do his stuff (this was on the East Coast; Quincy here is on at 9am and 3pm). Food and love, what more does a girl need?

Yes, Quincy is kind of overly emotional at times. Dare I say "melodramatic"? I dare. But that's why I love him so much! Did you see that episode when he tried to get the guy selling look-alike pep pills to close his store? Jeez, the way he looks out for the youth of today; it's really inspirational! Did you see that scene right after the girl died from taking what she thought were just the look-alikes but were actually the real thing? The scene when he storms into the store and tears the place apart? GO QUINCE!

As you may or may not know, Quincy's real name is Jack Klugman. I love the name Jack, by the way, and that's no coincidence. And contrary to popular opinion, he's not a bad actor, either. So cute in Twelve Angry Men! Now, yes, he's much too old for me. Yes, as a matter of fact, he's old enough to be the father of my father. But let's not think about that right now, shall we? Let's just think about how smart and sweet and cool the Big Q is. I just love him. Hear that? I LOVE HIM!

MacGyver Factor Score: 75%. Why so low, you ask? It's not because I don't think he's as smart or as cute as MacGyver. I have to confess it's because I saw him on Diagnosis Murder last year and he sounds like he's got throat cancer. This doesn't make me love him less, but a girl has to be practical these days. I can't go falling head-over-heels about a man who may only have a few years to live. It hurts to say it, yes, but it's really just to protect myself from a terrible heartbreak. I mean, what if my dreams came true and Quincy called me and we went out on a date and fell in love and then *BAM* he dropped dead? Can you imagine? The horror! I'm just too sensitive to survive something like that.

One quick thing before I go: I would just like to mention now that a planned future Boyfriend of mine died recently. His name was Burgess Meredith and he was 100% lovable. I just can't bring myself to have a boyfriend who is dead, so I won't be running a segment on him. But I wanted to let you guys know he was terrific and I'll miss him a lot.

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