The Boyfriend of the Week

February 2, 1999

This week's Boyfriend, Robert Urich, isn't up here for his own sake. Before I get too carried away, I want to make that clear. It's not Rob I want to go out with! Well, okay, maybe that's kind of a lie. I have a lot of respect for Robbie's fight against cancer and stuff, but what I REALLY love about him is who he is and forever will be inside my own little head:


Do you guys remember that great television show Spenser: For Hire? C'mon, think back. 1985-1988 or so? Robert played the title role (d-u-h) and he was utterly fantastic! And that's saying a lot considering I was only in 5th grade when that show first came out. I've since gone on and read every single Spenser novel ever written (most of them a couple of times each) and every time the author (Robert B. Parker) puts out a new one, I'm first in line at the local library. For a little while, Lifetime ran re-runs too. I used to sneak into my college roommate's room and watch her cable TV when she was out of town JUST TO SEE HIM. Oh the lengths I'd go!

Why? Because Spenser is, in short, the perfect man. Not only is he big and strong and tough, but he's also a gourmet cook! And he's funny and sweet and romantic and charming and boy oh boy does he have a nice upper body. When I read Spenser novels, I still see Robert Urich as he used to be (minus the Love Boat ship captain's uniform, see?) and that's a big part of why I love reading those damn things over and over again.

Spenser is always quick to do the right thing, which I find extremely attractive in people. For example, remember the case where he was looking for a man's runaway wife and when he found her, he let her stay hidden from the husband (who was a jerk)? Even though it meant not getting paid for all his time and trouble! Whadda guy! His dedication to girlfriend Susan is kind of nice too. I only say that, of course, because she's COMPLETELY FICTIONAL. But, think, even when she dumped him for a twerp, Spenser hung in there. He let her get her bearings and then not only took her back, but acted like she'd never left to begin with.

Aw, shucks! Any guy that patient and understanding, has got to be Mr. Right.

He's good with dogs too. Especially big ones. And he lives in Boston, which is an hour from my favorite place on Earth. Pretty convenient, no?

Now, Robert's career has been stalled about as badly as MacGyver's has -- though Mac has a new show out now, as you know, in which he basically plays himself, sans pocketknife. That's what Robert Urich needs to do; he needs to go back to playing a detective. Even if it's not a Bostonian one. Even if it's not one who can cook or who knows the difference between all the various red wines. I'm not picky! I'll take ANYTHING but The Love Boat! ANYTHING! I just want to see him solve crimes and catch bad guys again. I'll even volunteer to be on the show as his steady girlfriend. And I'll do it for free!

But until that day (that glorious, glorious day), I'll have to keep checking the books out from the library. It's about time to reread the whole series, actually, starting from book one. Remember, that author is Robert B. Parker. You'll love them, I promise. Be careful not to accidentally read any of his non-Spenser books, though. Yeesh!

MacGyver Factor Score: 92.4%. Obvious deduction of points for stooping to bad tv-show remake of bad tv-show. I like to be forgiving with boyfriends when it comes to career mistakes like that, but not TOO forgiving. . .

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