The Boyfriend of the Week

January 4, 2000

This week's Boyfriend is one I've been thinking about for awhile but for some reason have been putting off. I think it has something to do with the attitude of his character on "Law and Order." I can't quite figure that character out. Sometimes I like him, sometimes his decisions infuriate me. (I don't even want to know Sam Waterston's real stand on capital punishment. But go-ahead and tell me anyway, we both know I'll still love him even if he is a schmuck.)

Before I go any further, I should let all of you know that I am now writing these weekly Boyfriend write-ups using voice-activated software I got for Christmas this year. The software and I are still getting to know each other, which is why it just translated the word schmuck into "should not." Good thing my proof-reading skills are A+. Wait, is there a hyphen in proof-reading? Okay, A-. Anyway, if you see any interesting word choices, you'll know why. I figure in a week or two we'll be getting along better and it will more easily understand my creative vocabulary. Then it will only be a couple more weeks before I can get the computer to write these for me all by itself. When that happens, things are going to start getting pret-ty interesting around here.

Now let's see, where was I? Oh yes, Sam. The reason I decided to run Sam this week is because last Thursday night I happened to catch a movie on TV he was in that I'd never heard of before. Wait, that's not entirely true. My mom had seen the movie several months ago and tried to lend me a videotape of it. Only, and you can't blame Y2K for this, she blew it and the tape was blank. I'd insert a joke about old age here, but I just did the same thing myself last week.

The movie is called "The Room Upstairs" and is about a woman who runs a boarding house. The woman is played by Stockard Channing, who was my favorite actress in the movie "Grease" (which is where I first learned the phrase "bun in the oven") (bet you didn't know Grease was an educational film, did you). Anyway, she rents out the top room of her building to a strange cello player (Sam Waterston) and by the end of the movie, they are absolutely crazy about each other. It was sweet. Watch for it.

Another Sam Waterston movie I like, in fact it's probably my favorite thing he's ever been in, is "The Killing Fields." In this one, Sam plays a journalist in Cambodia (and everybody now knows I have a serious thing for journalists, right?). Add this to the fact that John Malkovich plays a photographer, and you have a movie that makes me extremely happy. If you haven't seen "The Killing Fields," you must rent this movie. It's not just full of cuties, it's also educational, fascinating, and emotionally complex. All good qualities in a film, methinks.

Annnnnnd of course, there's "Law and Order." I'm pretty sure I don't need to say much about this show, so I'll just say this: the one thing I can always happily watch on tv is a Law and Order rerun (though I can't seem to get into the new season -- I don't like the new guy, I have to admit it. Why? The reason is total crazy -- he played a character named "Greg Butters" on Ally McBeal and there's just something about the name "Butters" that turns my stomach. Everytime I see him, even now on a totally different show, I get kind of queasy. Yes, I am aware of the fact I need to seriously consider some kind of therapy. No, I'm probably not going to. Never a dull moment when you're a little "off," don't you think?)

Alas, I digress. The point is, Law and Order is great because the good guys don't always win and that makes you have to stop and think for a bit. It's an intellectual show, even when it's not. I've never watched an episode that didn't make me pause and say "huh" (pensively) at the end. That's rare in television, don't you think?

No wait, I'm wrong, the ACTUAL point is: Sam Waterston is very nice to look at. (Forgot who I was for a moment -- got all distracted by the left hemisphere of my brain). Did I mention I'm also mad about his voice and the way he carries himself? Watch him walk across a room next time you're watching L&O. Whew! Hubba hubba! I'll even tell you something kind of embarrassing: by the end of "The Room Upstairs" I was screaming "PLEASE KISS HER NOW! KISS HER!!" because I could no longer stand how totally adorable and wonderful he was and wanted to see some smooching in a serious, serious way. I wouldn't admit that kind of sappiness to just anyone, you know. Only for you guys. Trusted friends and readers.


MacGyver Factor Score: 93.4%. Okay, yes, it IS the death penalty thing. I know it's just a character, I know this!! But it really bugs me. No, REALLY! I'm sorry, sorry, sorry. It's totally irrational and unfair, Sam. You could make it up to me, though. My number's listed.

IMDB page on Sammy.

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